Jack Pendarvis

Jack Pendarvis

Jack Pendarvis has written five books. He won two Emmys for his work on the TV show Adventure Time. During a period of light employment, he spoke into a digital recorder whenever the mood struck him and transcribed the results, accumulating the two thousand pages from which this column has been extracted. Please begin at the beginning for the optimum experience.

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

So... watch out for the whale-line.

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

The sea will crush your boat without thinking twice

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

“I want my body to be brought out at meetings, and put it at the head of the table in a glass case, and it’ll be like I’m… there.”

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

But the boat kinda tips over and guess what?

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

"‘Heave ho, you varlets!’ Or whatever.”

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

“Blah blah blah, whale. Blah blah, boat, hole, swordfish."

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

These long-bearded weirdos wouldn’t even say anything!

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

They go toward the mysterious, misty spout… of ectoplasm.

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

‘This seems like a big joke, and the joke’s on me.’