Jack Pendarvis

Jack Pendarvis

Jack Pendarvis has written five books. He won two Emmys for his work on the TV show Adventure Time. During a period of light employment, he spoke into a digital recorder whenever the mood struck him and transcribed the results, accumulating the two thousand pages from which this column has been extracted. Please begin at the beginning for the optimum experience.

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

“So you might disagree with me about polar bears."

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

"And, uh, the meaninglessness of eternity in the wrinkled face of that… biting monster."

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

"They think I’m wearing perfume. It’s just how I smell because I’m holy.”

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

“Well, let me at least mention the kind of floor I dance on in whatever country I come from.”

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

Uhm… we’re just goin’ down the slide into… [very long pause] whale city.

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

“He’s got so many frickin’ leftover harpoons in him, he looks like a pin cushion.”

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

Until your foot slips, and… horror… existential horror returns you to your body, the site of all horror.

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

Have you ever had anyone over for dinner? Then you have tasted what it is to be Caesar!

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

"Oh, Ahab! You’re so shaggy. You’re just an old, shaggy Nantucket… geezer."