Jack Pendarvis

Jack Pendarvis

Jack Pendarvis has written five books. He won two Emmys for his work on the TV show Adventure Time. During a period of light employment, he spoke into a digital recorder whenever the mood struck him and transcribed the results, accumulating the two thousand pages from which this column has been extracted. Please begin at the beginning for the optimum experience.

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

Ishmael would’ve gone to see that Martin Scorsese movie 'Silence' and thought, “Hey! What’s the big deal?”

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

Four feet tall, lived in a cave… Quaker… vegetarian.

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

“Just take a look at Captain Ahab before you decide, because I’m talkin’ about a guy whose leg was bitten off.”

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

And it’s like, “Mm, I’m gonna get some chowder now.” And the title of the chapter is “Chowder.”

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

He… uh… turns her into what is inevitably called “nut-brown” from the sun, and all her problems also vanish.

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

"... if God had meant to say ‘whale,’ he would have said ‘whale!’"

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

Do you think he’s rude because he uses his harpoon to reach across the table and stab a beefsteak?

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

Deeply intimate. Bridal. Conjugal. Linked. A marriage. Explicitly!

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

“Here I am in my raggedy hat and my… boots with the holes in it, and I can’t afford a frickin’… hamburger!"