Jack Pendarvis

Jack Pendarvis

Jack Pendarvis has written five books. He won two Emmys for his work on the TV show Adventure Time. During a period of light employment, he spoke into a digital recorder whenever the mood struck him and transcribed the results, accumulating the two thousand pages from which this column has been extracted. Please begin at the beginning for the optimum experience.

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

“Blah blah blah, whale. Blah blah, boat, hole, swordfish."

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

These long-bearded weirdos wouldn’t even say anything!

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

They go toward the mysterious, misty spout… of ectoplasm.

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

‘This seems like a big joke, and the joke’s on me.’

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

“I want a freaky tall old man.”

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

And, uh, you know what sailors do when they get upset. It’s not pretty.

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

I say to you, have you ever been onboard a whal—a whaling vessel? I thought not. So why don’t you shove it?”

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

“So you might disagree with me about polar bears."

Jack Pendarvis’s Moby-Dick

"And, uh, the meaninglessness of eternity in the wrinkled face of that… biting monster."