I wake up at 8:00 a.m. I couldn’t get up—too cold. I wait for some. I want to sleep forever but have to get up. I get up like an hour later. There is one word in my mind—gekiokopunpunmaru. It’s slang here used for someone very angry. Punpun! is a sound an angry person make.
I’m thinking about washing sheets for maybe two weeks but I don’t trust the sun these days—it’s been weak. So I’m waiting for the sun to be strong again. I checked my cell phone and my friend somehow sent me a photo of an ostrich sculpture made of three human arms and the face part is satanic corona hand-shaped. I want bread. Then I change my clothes because I’ve been wearing same thing for a week, because it’s the most comfy and warm I have and outside is chill.
I want to chill out on a starry reflected ocean side with bunch of glowing sea creatures but now I have to go to a bank to pay for someone. When the money goes out from account so much I feel skinny. It’s a weird thing but it’s so connected my bank account and I wonder if everyone else is like that too. I walk my neighborhood and reach to a baker. The lady at the bakery likes me. She never tell me that but I think so. Last time she gave me a red bean bun I told her it was good and it tasted like they use black sugar for it. She says yes you’re right thank you. I browse the bakery and find the red bean bun—it says the beans are cooked with matcha! That I couldn’t tell. . . . Anyway I wanted to get the black bread I often get but they didn’t have it so I got white bread with bread’s ear. (We call the hard part of the sides of bread “ears.”)
After leaving the bakery in front of it is pharmacy. I get toilet paper there, I try to choose one but many of it with scent in it and I don’t care whether my ass smells like lavender so I get no smell one. There is a product called ass celebrity paper which seems so soft it would be very nice, but the price is double so forget it.
At home I make field horsetail tea to feel earth and put all my receipts in my plastic receipt bag. It’s a receipt jungle in there. Then I can start work call someone writing emails make a new project file via Pro Tools for a trailer for my movie. If I can mention a week from today I’ll show my movies first time ever in Japan, two movies, it’s a big deal. I got so depressed thinking about it yesterday. It’s exciting but at the same time very—somehow I want to feel that I’m not the center of the world. I mean I’m not at all but to get help from someone you need to be center a little so . . . but overall I’m happy to try to find a right cable for Pro Tools from bunch of cables. For me it’s easy but if someone else comes they might have a hard time. I only know my belongings well. This feeling reminded me of a film Stroszek from Werner Herzog. When Stroszek plays his piano he says if he dies what his belongings should do? Then I grab my violin and play pizzicato cause if I play with bow last time a minute after I set my violin in my case my landlord called asking me to quit it. Someone from my apartment called them I bet. So I can’t play it, only pluck it.
I go back to the kitchen and feel the warmth of baked bread. Then I work again calling opening Microsoft Word busybusybusy! It’s 2:30 p.m. I haven’t eaten anything. I have to make a fried chicken today cause it’s a deadline for the chicken to be cooked. It took me two hours to do it and I have cabbage soften with salt but I put too much salt so I use my brain to put some nori to ease the saltiness but it doesn’t help. Also I have leftover miso soup with frozen leftover of gyoza skin in it. I just don’t know what to do with leftover gyoza skin! Please Chinese person tell me.
At 4:45 p.m. I left my apartment for working at a sound studio. The room is so tiny—3 x 5 m. I believe it’s also a studio of a sound engineer who might be one of the top ones here, working on all the blockbusters, but even so she only can get that much small studio. The Japanese film industry has no money and it sucks. Even people are talented the system is all fucked. Gotta do something about it.
I had to watch my film again whole through at the studio. I hadn’t seen it for a while so it felt very time warping and my heart was aching but I kept my poker face. On the way back I saw a main actress from Hausu walking on the street, she was young then but now she looked 50 or 60. She looked dense with years of living life. I want to buy ice cream but I don’t because I already have some sweets at home. At home I check shiitake mushroom fortune teller website, every Monday it’s out but somehow today it’s not updated! I want to know what my next week is going to be I want to know!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then I put hazelnut chocolate paste and kinako on a piece of bread, that’s my dinner, make tea again with a sweet called kaminari okoshi, means thunder starter, it’s peanuts and rice puff melted in something and it’s very hard. I worry about my teeth to be not broken. I worked until 1:30 a.m. Somehow I wanted to check what’s Justin Bieber doing then checked his insta. He recommended a new video from Drake and I checked it out, then jumped to YouTube main page which recommended the Starman of Elon Musk. The Drake video is not so good then I start to watch Starman to be really spaced out only 666 people watching it live is it really? Only 666???Today felt long. I take a bath brush my teeth put oil on my face make a bed set the projector choose a movie. I chose a movie but I have no idea where I got it and which country this film made by but looks Russian but I thought it was more from some exotic country I mean Russia is very exotic but . . . title is called The Touch. Fell asleep right away but now I want to know what is about then the synopsis on the web says, “On her way to the promised land a blind girl meets a gangster and they fall in love. Their love makes a miracle: the girl regains her sight. This romantic story ends tragically.” Russia you know tragic too well.
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