Happy Birthday, Nabokov
I imagine you sitting in your well-appointed study, playing chess and breaking Shostakovich records over your knee.
Happy Birthday, Jeb!
I have been laughing at the thought of Donald Trump calling you Low Energy Jeb for like three and a bit years now, and I do not foresee a future in which I will be able to stop.
Happy Birthday Natalie Imbruglia
Like all Australian celebrities, you began your ascent to the Everest of stardom from the base camp known as Neighbours.
Happy Birthday, Jeremy Renner and Nicolas Cage
People struggle to be neutral about either of you.
Happy Birthday Giovanni Ribisi
I have no strong feelings about you though, other than “oddly disappointed that he is a Scientologist.”
Jack Pendarvis Talks to Himself
People are in the mood for candy.