- It doesn’t seem like you are friends, which is perhaps something to reconsider as you both forge ahead into 2019.
- You are both shaking your heads right now and saying, “As for me, I could never form a meaningful friendship with that man; we are so different it is laughable.”
- Nicolas Cage, you are thinking: “Renner is too, I guess ‘basic’ is the word?”
- Jeremy Renner, you are thinking, “Why does he seem like he wishes he was a troubadour, and what happened in his life that he thinks troubadours are cool?”
- You are both correct, in your own inimitable ways, but this shouldn’t be an obstacle in your path to friendship. You have so much in common! The fact that you are born on the same day is really just the beginning.
- Both of you have that sincerely bonkers and unpredictable Capricorn energy, which is made even more wild and bewildering by the fact that you do not ever think you are doing anything strange.
- Nicolas Cage, you appear to have accepted that the public thinks you are a markedly weird man, but I feel that deep down you believe yourself to be an average joe, even in a sort of “legal definition of a reasonable man” way.
- Renner, part of your brand is being sort of normal, but you have that slightly maniacal glint in your eye that makes me believe you would come to an awards ceremony on a horse or suddenly start believing that milk gives you tuberculosis, stuff like that.
- Next, many of the basic facts of both of your lives are genuinely startling.
- Jeremy Renner, you are one of seven children.
- Your dad ran a bowling alley. This is not startling, exactly, but if I was your friend and I was talking about you to one of my other friends, I would certainly mention it. It’s noteworthy. Are you good at bowling as a result? Does the smell and atmosphere of bowling alleys make you feel happy or sad?
- Nicolas Cage, there are a lot of odd things about you, many facts which fuel the Nicolas Cage is a Markedly Strange Man industry. You are related to a proliferating number of Coppolas. You once sued Kathleen Turner for falsely insinuating that you stole a dog. You named your child after Superman. You LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE to shop. You probably think all this is totally standard.
- Finally and perhaps most significantly, you are both Polarising figures.
- Jeremy Renner, a friend of mine once jerked back violently in her chair at the mention of your name, and said that you were this generation’s most fuckable man.
- There are many people who feel equally violently about you, but in the other direction.
- Same with you, Nicolas Cage.
- People struggle to be neutral about either of you.
- I feel like if either of you moved to a village in a remote part of France, the villagers would either spontaneously arise to celebrate your coming, or collectively decide to expel you immediately on some wooden logs.
- This is not a criticism of either of you.
- Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday, Jeremy Renner and Nicolas Cage
People struggle to be neutral about either of you.
Popula is 100% ad-free, reader-supported journalism accountable only to you. Every dollar of your subscription goes straight to our work. Thank you for supporting Popula.
A meeting in reality and in imagination
In the photo she had been shouting so hard the veins on her neck stood out.
Each comment or response costs a tiny ETH fee of 0.00034 (about 5¢ in Ethereum cryptocurrency), payable from your Metamask.io wallet (the wallet is free, and takes just a moment to add to your browser). This system helps protect Popula conversations from trolls, fakers, Cambridges Analytica and other malign influences.
If you haven’t got any ETH yet and you’re a Popula subscriber, please write to hey@popula.com with your subscriber email address and MetaMask wallet address, and we’ll send you a little bit to get started! It’s pretty easy and a lot of fun to use, Yay.
If you’d like to learn more about cryptocurrency, Ethereum, and how Popula is using these new technologies to help protect speech rights and the free press, please visit our FAQ page.
We’re having trouble checking your subscriber status. Try refreshing the page.
Welcome! To leave a comment, you’ll need to log in, and also have your MetaMask wallet ready with some ETH cryptocurrency available.
It’s easy! Just visit metamask.io to install an in-browser MetaMask wallet. If you’re a new subscriber, write to hey@popula.com for $2 in free ETH crypto!
Thank you for being a Popula subscriber! As a subscriber, you may leave comments, but you have to be logged in as commenter here first. This is an additional login—the login for your commenting privileges—and you’ll stay logged in after you log in the first time.
We’ve sent an email to your registered address at … with your commenting details. Please follow the directions in the email to open your commenting privileges and then come back here to leave your first comment!
Thanks for registering! Please log in and you can get started commenting.
You need to connect to the Main Ethereum Network before you can leave a comment. Click on your MetaMask icon so the window pops up, then select ‘Main Ethereum Network’ from the network-chooser dropdown at the top.
You’re logged in and ready to leave comments! All you need is a MetaMask wallet and a little ETH cryptocurrency, just like with our microtipping system.
If you know what MetaMask is and have it installed, activate MetaMask and refresh:
Each comment costs 5¢ in Ethereum cryptocurrency to post! Just write your comment and click the green button. Thank you, Popula subscriber, for joining us in the new world of cryptoeconomics! Please don’t forget to set your wallet address in order to receive tips on your comments.
Alas! commenting is not yet available on your mobile device. Each comment costs a little ETH cryptocurrency to post, and for now that requires a regular computer.
So please go to your laptop, install the MetaMask browser plugin, and hold forth!