Happy Birthday “Anarchy in the UK”

1. I am fully aware that, in making a big performative deal of aggressively not caring about something, I am playing directly into the hands of The Sex Pistols.
2. When I say that I make a loud exasperated noise at the thought of “Anarchy in the UK,” and that I truly cannot believe that anyone at any point would have been scandalised at the idea of not liking the queen, I am playing straight into the grubby claws of John Lydon and associates.
3. Me: I don’t care about anything to do with The Sex Pistols and obviously no one likes the damn queen.
4. The Sex Pistols: Wouldn’t you say that loudly not caring about things and disliking the queen is in many ways what British punk was about? Mm?
5. The Sex Pistols: Wouldn’t you say that rolling your eyes at stuff that people of an older generation once thought was Subversive is, again, the very glue that held The Sex Pistols together?
6. Well I don’t know.
7. Honestly all I know about the Sex Pistols comes from two sources: ‘Please Kill Me’ and ‘24 Hour Party People,’ both of which are absolute masterpieces and both of which make it seem like it was quite shit to be a member of The Sex Pistols.
8. Both ‘Please Kill Me’ and ’24 Hour Party People’ give credit where it is due, and say that The Sex Pistols were Important in a sort of anthropological way, but no one says anywhere that they were cool or fun to be around.
9. No one says anywhere that The Sex Pistols had a honeymoon period with hard drugs, even.
10. “No one says anywhere.”
11. One book and one film have confirmed my suspicions that no one really liked The Sex Pistols, and with that I am satisfied.
12. Again, I see that “loudly advertising one’s limited desire or capacity to know anything more than the absolute bare minimum about a given subject” is a very The Sex Pistols move, in a sense.
13. John Lydon looking at me while he is on stage and mouthing “we be of one blood, ye and I.”
14. Me: closing my eyes in disgust.
15. I just don’t think it’s a fun song, and I don’t think anyone else did either.
16. That’s my opinion, and you are invited to take it or leave it, fellas.
17. Happy Birthday.

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